What excuse do I have for not writing about my life in Australia? Lists. Lots of lists of things to do before Christmas.

Take the pets’ fleas, for instance (and I wish that you would). “We are expecting a busy time in our clinic as pet owners prepare for the upcoming tick and flea season,” a local vet is quoted.   Applied the meds, vacuumed the entire house and cleaned every inch that they lounge on. They’re still scratching. The war on fleas has robbed me of writing time.

Then the signs everywhere: “It’s bush fire season! Have you prepared your firebreaks?” We’re expecting bad fires this season due to low rainfall in Western Australia. Apparently it’s going to be the hottest summer on record. Snakes are already slithering into the suburbs for a drink so it’s gumboots in the garden and no looking under logs.  I must slot in a day to rake the leaves along the firebreak and mulch them. Burning them flares up my asthma and sends unnecessary Co2 into the atmosphere and will probably cause even higher temperatures next year. The “are you fire ready?” list includes preparing a grab bag. This consists of important documents that will be needed if the house goes up in smoke. Equally important is the survival kit of medications, emergency rations, torch, radio, water and the animal transport boxes. Sourcing these may take time. I also need to scan all my photos onto a memory stick and store them at the bank. It’s about being prepared.

Happily, we received mail from the Water Corporation congratulating us on being one of the biggest non-users of water as measured by our area. At least there’ll be more water to put out fires. We’re all committed to being water wise.

I’m also getting to grips with saving the planet while shopping. At any time, I’m armed and ready with at least four eco-friendly bags. “How many customers bring their own bags?” I asked a check out assistant in the supermarket. “About 20 % – the rest just put it all in the free plastic bags.” When South Australia charged for plastic bags in supermarkets, the sale of recyclable bags increased. So did the number of patients with subluxated shoulders. “All the groceries in my two large bags have pulled my arm out of its socket!” said the patient in our physiotherapy practice. Until she remembers to half fill her hessian bags, she’s keeping doctors and physios in business.

I was about to settle down to some writing when I overheard a conversation about the Indonesian Forest Fires. “Oh, I’ve never been able to see the sun there in any case,” said a travelled man. “I hear it’s hit north Queensland now”. I quickly researched more facts on the situation. Attempting to save the world needs dedicated effort. According to NASA, the smog crisis could become the worst on record. Its covered Malaysia, Singapore and parts of Indonesia. About 600 million tonnes of greenhouse gases have been released as a result of this year’s fires.

Then just today there’s more news about rising sea levels. If a 2 degrees C spike in temperature develops by 2100, 280 million people will be displaced globally. The report was issued by US group Climate Central whose aim is to reduce global carbon emissions. The report shows pictures of Sydney Opera house covered by water if the temperature increases by 4 degrees C by 2100. My only thought is that it’s time to locate inland. Actually I needn’t bother. At 146 years old it probably won’t bother me.

It’s time consuming trying to get all the facts and figures and sometimes it seems as if there’s not much I can do about it all. The only figure I can change is my own.

And that’s my project before Christmas. It’s partly to do with a computer. I went to a GP and she put in my figures and out shot” Goodrick J Mrs: overweight”. That and my osteopenia finding – the state of my skeleton, one stage before osteoporosis- made me look at this new health/stealth concept. Sneak in the good stuff and you become healthier and thinner. And you won’t fracture when you fall. “You must go to gym and push weights,” said my GP, “you have to after 55”. She suddenly boxed the air above her head. I wanted to laugh. Perhaps it was the joyful hysteria at the thought of the New Me. Researching bone food has taken time. Calcium and vitamin D. Add magnesium. But no coffee or chocolate as the caffeine robs the bones of calcium. This has set me back. I have sat in coffee shops, drinking in the delicious aroma of coffee. By day three I was moody and realised that I was a flat white. I’ll cut back gradually. Chocolate? I tried the 90% dark and it reminded me of chocolate cubes I was once given for constipation. I was looking for a solution in the confectionary aisles when I saw an elderly woman on her hands and knees. “Can I help you?” “No, I’m fine, I found it. The last packet of chocolate digestives!” She clutched it, asking me if I knew the benefits of bran. “And the chocolate?’ I asked. “Couldn’t care…it makes me feel good!” I asked a woman in the chocolate aisle for comment. “The latest research says that ALL chocolate is good for you! Moderation in everything,” said a plump middle aged woman, lugging her stock of Cadbury for the month. “In any case, it makes me feel good!” she shouted from the end of the aisle.

Latest figures show the average Australian woman to be a size 16. They’re finding it hard to downsize and the issues are complex. In my case I worry about weight and feel bad about the state of my skeleton but feel very good after eating chocolate which in turn is bad for the bones and weight but has the feel good factor…I’m trapped in a cycle with most middle aged Ozzie women.

It was the 15th October when I stumbled over a 10 kg Christmas Lindt Ball while trying to escape Jingle Bells blaring from a nearby speaker. I pulled myself together, trying not to think of death by Lindt Ball, and headed to the Christmas cards. Not one mentioning Jesus Christ which is strange as the 25 December is His birthday celebration. I would love to send cards this year instead of sms s or emails. Handwritten, personal messages. I just need to update my address book once I find the original which has been missing since vacuuming and cleaning surfaces for fleas. I’m sure I’ll find it, it just a matter of time.

I’ll write when Christmas is over. After New Year is probably more realistic. In 2016, I will finally write about life in Australia, in the gap between my old and my new to do lists. I’ll resist being pressured into saving the planet in that period. I yearn to just fill blank paper, sip coffee and nibble Lindt while not thinking about my frame, forests, fires or fat.